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One-On-One with Obama

Published March 21, 2011 Uncategorized Leave a Comment
I am a 58 years old -slightly over-weight and slightly out-of-shape. However, I am firmly convinced that I can beat Mr. President in a game of one-on-one.

First, I’d like to point out that the President is “all talk.”  He likes to talk a good game, but talking is not going to get you the points you need to win the game, and talking will not stop a determined opponent who is trying to score points against you.

When Mr. Obama has the ball, he is easy to stop.  He is a lefty, and his natural tendency should be to go left.  His whole career has been scoring from the left.  However, now he fights his natural abilities and tendencies, and has developed a clumsy and awkward cross-over to the right that more often than not causes him to drop the ball.  He is not hard to stop as he mechanically moves to the right.

The President has only one reliable offense strategy, which is that long-range, “Hail Mary” jump shot; but if you get right up in his face and play tight defense, he gets stuck in that one position and is unable to score.   In the event that he does make a clever move and drives to score his point, you can give him a hard foul to throw off his shot.  He is too polite to call “foul” and just smiles to let you know that maybe he did not appreciate that defensive move.

It is not very hard to score points against Mr. Obama, because he is soft on defense.  He can be backed down.  He does not have the weight or strength to stop an opponent that turns a shoulder and slowly and steadily moves to score the point.  Mr. Obama  is too polite to foul an opponent, even when the opponent is pushing and shoving him back on the way to score the point.

It probably would not be a pretty game between me and the Prez.  The battles to score would be very intense.  I would score my points early and then give him some face-saving points at the end of the session.  I must let the President know that the next opponent, John “Doc” Boehner is going to be stronger and faster who will want to deny the President of any points in the game.  Mr. President, you are going to have to step-up your game to face your new opponent.

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH

Published March 8, 2011 Uncategorized 1 Comment

Believe it or not, Scott Walker had me confused.  I knew the governor’s plan to cut public employees’ salaries and benefits was not about a budget shortfall since he recently signed into law a $130 million in tax breaks for corporations.  I could not fathom an elected official being against education which is one of the pillars of the American dream.

Of course, there is the popular argument that Republicans want to privatize education.  The  new”budget crises” would allow states to cut funds for education reducing public schools to babysitting facilities.  This would give momentum to private schools and school voucher programs where people are given vouchers to help offset the cost of tuition at the private schools.

But not everyone can afford a private education even with a state voucher.  The economically challenged public schools would fail to provide a quality education and fail to provide the skills and knowledge required to succeed in today’s high-tech world.  At that point, I realized that this is what these Republicans want.  The poor public educational system will produce under-skilled and uneducated graduates.  Poorly educated people will accept poorer working conditions and not look for advancement and of course accept lower wages with no benefits.   This is the same reason that Republicans do not support unemployment benefits for those out of work.  As the pool of unskilled graduates and unemployed workers without benefits grows the pool of cheap labor expands and wages drop and benefits are cut.  This is the the ideal pool of labor  for America as more and more of the skilled and highly qualified jobs are shipped to cheaper labor sources overseas.

One more lesson from Wisconsin  with the constant battle against the unions and their right to exist.  All of the sudden I realized the reason why several Republican governors have refused federal money for high-speed rail despite the fact that it will bring immediate jobs to the states as construction starts and will continue to provide jobs as the new high speed trains are operational.  Also, this rail should improve commerce and business in the area.  So why should a governor refuse these funds?  Scott Walker gave me the answer.  It is because the high-speed rail would most likely bring union jobs to the state.  The construction jobs would most likely be union jobs and the rail jobs would also most likely be union jobs.  As we learned from Mr. Walker and his supporter David Koch, unions are an anathema  to the Republican politicians and their ultra-rich supporters.  It is more important to keep unions out then bring jobs to a state with high unemployment.  This is not the state of Wisconsin, this is the state of the Union.

LESSONS FROM WISCONSIN

Published March 3, 2011 Uncategorized 4 Comments

I think that we all can take away a few big lessons from the recent turmoil in Wisconsin – it is time to end public school education!

First, there is no fair way to pay for public education.  The system is rigged for those families with many children living in small homes or, even worse, renting apartments.  These families pay no or just a small amount of real estate taxes that are used to fund our schools.   Why should two families living side-by-side in identical homes pay the same real estate taxes when one family has five children and the other couple a single child?  Why should people with no children have to pay school taxes at all?  We need to find a more equitable system.

Second,  the hope and dreams that a quality education are suppose to provide are myths in today’s world of few job opportunities.   Today’s curriculum is burdensome and irrelevant for providing the skills and knowledge to succeed in the world of today.  We teach two years of pre-Algebra and then a year of Algebra I  followed by Algebra II.  I have yet to use the “x” and “y” to help solve a problem in the real world.  How about trigonometry?  We can sine that one to the dumpster, too.

And science education, where has that gotten us?  We produce a bunch of liberal scientists that take federal grant money only to try and convince us that there is global warming.  Or we pay scientists, again with federal and state grant money, to study the behavior of rats and monkeys and then try to educate our children with the theory of evolution.  Science got us to the moon and what did we get for those billions of dollars spent?   Tang.

History?  Forget about it.  We spend more time teaching American history in our schools than we do teaching Algebra.  American History is taught every year in grades 1 through 8, although much of that time focuses on Thanksgiving.  Our kids are taught social studies , whatever that is, in the ninth grade maybe one year of world history in tenth and then back to American history for the junior and senior years.  And what do we get for it?  We have politicians  who you would think would be experts on American history, and yet nationally recognized politicians stumble as they try to recall history to make a point.  John Boehner tells us he is reading the Constitution and then reads from the Declaration of Independence.  Michelle Bachman tells us that the Founding Fathers, led by John Quincy Adams (who we know was not a Founding Father) eliminated slavery.  Sarah Palin cannot recite a single decision handed down by the Supreme Court which she might disagree with.  I can bet that both these politicians got A’s in their history classes.

We, as a society, must move to a system of home schooling.  Only the parents really know what is essential for their children to learn and they can be responsible for passing along this knowledge.  We do not need elected school boards dictating that kids learn subjects that we see as totally irrelevant or contrary to our beliefs.  No one will tell us we cannot teach the Bible in our homes.  I can assure you there will be much fewer discipline problems with home schooling and we will not have to hire a police force to guard the doors of education.  Think of the savings on the federal school lunch program.  Of course, those families that are apathetic to their own childrens’ education can waste their hard-earned dollars sending their kids to private schools.  That is what we mean by ” free choice”.

By ridding ourselves of public education, we immediately go along way in solving the state and local budget problems. We immediately make education more relevant and give control back to our kids to the family.  And finally, we will not have to deal with the divisive teachers’ strike in our community every two years.

DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN

Published February 28, 2011 Uncategorized 5 Comments

 

It has been almost 40 years since the first major energy crisis of our time.  Ironically, this is the same period it took wandering in the desert to find the “Promised Land.”   Over these past 40 years, have we reached the “promised land” of energy self-sufficiency to avoid jarring shock waves to our economy?  You do not need a crystal ball to predict events of the this Spring and Summer as unrest spreads in the Middle East.

 

The unrest in Libya will continue into the Spring.  Eventually, the oil fields will be shut down either by the anti-government forces or by Qaddafi himself in his final act of defiance. The shutdown of the Libyan wells will result in the price of oil jumping to $150 a barrel and gasoline prices approaching $4.00 a gallon.  Congress  will pass a new law that limits highway speed to 55 mph to conserve the fuel in our tanks.  Expect the President to announce the formation of a bi-partisan panel to examine ways to reach 100% energy independence by the year 2080.  The Republicans will announce that they will refuse to participate.

 

By late Spring and early Summer the unrest that is traveling through the Middle should hit to Saudi Arabia and Iran.  As the people take to the streets in these countries, the price of oil should leap to $200 a barrel  and gasoline will approach $5.00 a gallon.  Expect Congress to pass a new law stating that there must be at least three individuals in any car traveling in the left lane on the Interstates.  Congress will pass legislation offering tax credits for those purchasing insulation for their homes.  The President will then announce that he will ask Congress to increase CAFE standards to 30 mpg by the year 2040 and 32 mpg by the year 2050.  Republican leadership will let it be known that they cannot support such measures.

 

The unrest in both these countries will  move to the oil fields and many of the oil wells will be destroyed and  oil prices will skyrocket to $250/barrel and gasoline prices going over $5.50 per gallon.  Congress will pass a new law in which “even” license plates can fill-up on Monday, Wednesday and Friday with “odd” license plates filling up Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.  Gas Stations must remain closed on Sunday.  The President will address the American people asking us to use our heat and air conditioning sparingly. Schools will now commence in late October to avoid air conditioning costs of late summer and will close from December through February to avoid heating cost in the middle of the winter. The school day will start an hour later and end hour earlier to further save energy.

 

By the middle of the summer, the hurricane season will be upon us.  The warmer ocean temperatures will give rise to more ferocious and devastating hurricanes.  The first Level 5 hurricane should hit the Gulf in the end of July wiping out 35% of the oil and gas production in the region.  A second Level 5 hurricane is expected to land in early August destroying another 25% of the regional oil driving oil prices to  $400 a barrel and gas prices hit $7.00 a gallon where gasoline can be found. The economy then will come to a standstill as fuel is too scarce and too expensive for our usual business practices.

 

Congress will recess this Summer and the President will vacation on Martha’s Vineyard..  The Republican leadership in the House will announce that it will propose new legislation in the fall prohibiting gays from the teaching profession and new legislation expanding prayer in the schools. It is very satisfying that after almost 40 years from our country’s first energy crisis, we have attained an energy independence that will not allow  energy shortfalls worldwide to negatively impact the American way of life.

 

THE PRESIDENT’S SPEECH

Published February 28, 2011 Uncategorized 1 Comment

The President’s Speech – David Chappelle & Geoffrey Rush

 


 

President’s Speech is a movie starring Geoffrey Rush and Dave Chappelle in which Geoffrey Rush is hired by the President’s staff to coach the President, played by Dave Chappelle, in strategies and methods of projecting more emotion and adding more tangible passion to his speeches to the American people.

 

Scene One: Oval Office of the White House

 

Mr Rush:  Okay Barack.

 

The President: Please call me Mr. President.

 

Mr. Rush: OK Barack……….You were informed that the House of Republicans just passed an alternative budget in which $60 billion is cut from programs that you strongly endorse.  Show some anger as you discuss developments with the American people.

 


The President:  My fellow Americans, last night I was chagrined to discover that the House of  Representatives passed an alternative budget to the one I recently presented to Congress. Their budget slashes many  of the programs that I strongly endorse and which I believe will help keep our Country on the course of recovery.  I can only hope they change their current positions……  You like how I worked in “hope and change”?

 

Mr. Rush – Mr President, with all due respect, I believe that you must generate a little more anger at the defiant Republican House.  For instance….Yesterday, the fucking, asshole Republicans in the House passed a fucking ridiculous budget that violates every fucking thing that I stand for.  Can you believe that these moronic and imbecilic Republicans are cutting the fucking education budget when education is the only fucking hope for the future?  These rich ass-kissing Republicans dare to cut the budgets for the SEC and the CFTC, the two agencies that oversee the fucking greedy bastards on Wall Street and all their fucking shenanigans and our only hope in preventing another calamitous crash of the markets.

 

Mr President: Ok, ok,ok ok…….. I think I have it……….  My fellow Americans, there are no red states and no blue states, just the United States and last night the House of Representatives passed a budget which I believe does not support the goals and ambitions of all our people. Last month, I promised a new era of cooperation and civility so in that vein I will go back and look at the budget for the Department of Education and see where we can make significant cuts and I will look at the bloated budgets of the SEC and CFTC and work to streamline these agencies to make them conform to our new standards of efficient government.

 

Mr. Rush: Put on the coffree…it’s going to be a long night.

 

TRADING PLACES

Published February 28, 2011 Uncategorized 2 Comments

 

 

As the NBA trading deadline approaches, we just learned of the a major trade that brought all-star Carmelo Anthony from the Denver Nuggets to the New York Knicks for four lesser players. The trade had immediate dividends as Carmelo scored 27 points in his debut leading the Knicks in rout of the Milwaukee Bucks.

 

Today their are murmurs of a much larger trade that will have worldwide implications.  There are unconfirmed rumors that Afghanistan is talking directly to Egypt about a straight-up swap of Hosni Mubarak for Hamid Karzi.  Of course, Hosni would have to be coaxed out of retirement, but the belief is that he would be very interested in running another totalitarian regime.  Of course, it might take a little while for Hosni to get the iron fist back in shape but experts feel that he should be able to dominate the new country by the middle of the season.  Friends and associates report that Hosni is regularly goose-stepping along the beach at his vacation home in Sharmelsheik in hopes of a possible return to the imperial palace again.  Egypt, on the other hand,  has been looking for a less dominant leader and one that is content sitting in the background planning domestic policy.

 

This trade has major implications for the United States.  The US has been funding the old Mubarak regime in Egypt for the bargain price of $2 billion a year and has gotten security and absolute stability from Egypt for the past 12 years.  Afghanistan has been requiring about $120 billion per year of US funding over the past few years.  The US believes that if Mubarak is able to quell the current unrest and bring stability back to Afghanistan for the paltry sum of $2 billion per year then it will have an additional $118 billion per year under the salary cap.  This $118 billion could then be used to back new dictators, enhance our nation building efforts throughout the Third World and there could possibly be a billion left over to fund the heating assistance program for the impoverished ederly.

 

The key component of the deal sending Hosni Mubarak to Afghanistan is that it guarantees the Afghan people true democracy in about 30 years which is obviously much faster than anything that might be accomplished under the present regime.  There are several recent rumors that Libya is shopping Qaddafi.

 

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