H O W A R D S B E N D

Melania – I love your Thanksgiving custom of taking a little time to give thanks for those things that are important to you.  Donald, what would you like to give special thanks for this year?

Donald – Oh Melania, that is so easy.  I want to give thanks for Ivanka.  Thank you Lord for Ivanka.  She beautiful, smart, composed, beautiful, energetic, professional and beautiful.

Melania – Is there anything else that you would like to give thanks for this holiday?

Donald – Now it gets a little harder.  Hmmmm……I’m thinking.  There’s got to be something.  Oh yeah. Mar a Lago  I love that place.  It is beautiful, in fact gorgeous, luxurious, elegant.  And the people…….everyone is beautiful, rich and so well connected.  Most beautiful place in the world.

Melania – Can you think of anything else to be grateful for this Thanksgiving?

Donald – This is tougher than the Mueller investigation.  I should have had you send the questions over earlier in the month and could have had the lawyers work on the answers. Give me a minute.  Oh yeah, Trump Tower.  I love Trump Tower.

Melania – You kind of went there  with Mar a Lago.  How about something or someone else?

Donald – Got it……I am very thankful for Twitter.  Oh my God, the greatest invention ever.  Before, I would make a really funny crack or a very sarcastic comment and then I would wait for Ivana or Marla to laugh and I would get nothing.  All my jokes and sarcasm went right over their heads.  Forget about you, getting my comments.   I don’t even think you understand English.  And now, I make a funny remark on Twitter and millions of people around the world are laughing immediately and asking for more.  I throw a jab at little Sessions and a million people pile on and pummel the poor guy.  Macron gets on my nerves and I crush him and his little French followers with a major wallop right across the face on Twitter.  I am truly thankful for Twitter.

Melania – How about another person.  Is there anyone else who you are thankful for?

Donald – Do you really need to ask?  Isn’t it so obvious who I am totally thankful for and indebted to?  Do you really have to ask who I give thanks to every day?  Obviously, you do not know me like I thought you  did.

Melania – You are making me blush.

Donald – I am not sure why you are blushing, but I would be nowhere without Mr. Putin.  He is the person who believed in me, went to bat for me and gave me everything that I needed to win the election.  Of course, I am thankful for Mr. Putin not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year.  And you Melania, what are you thankful for?

Melania -I am thankful that you married me and made me a US citizen.  I am happy that my parents are now US citizens, too.  And I am thankful that my lawyer gave me such an ironclad pre-nuptial agreement so I know what ever happens between us I will be getting lots of money every year of my life.  Oh yeah, and Baron is pretty cool, too.