Did anyone get a message that they forgot to give me? You know I hate that. You know I hate when I don’t get phone messages left for me. You don’t think maybe Rocket Man called Tillerson and Tillerson is fuckin with me , cause if he is, it definitely means that I made the right decision to fire that ungrateful, disloyal son-of-a-bitch . How can we check if Tillerson is keeping the phone message from me just to prove that he was a better Secretary of State than I thought? Put a wire tap on him right away!!!!
Jared, there were no calls for me down where you work, wherever that is, now that you have no security clearance? Can you believe the Fat, Crazy, Little Madmen said he would call this week and still has not called? I never thought that he would lie. Who would stoop to that level? Lying, can you believe it? Jared, you are Secretary of the World, is there anyone you can call, and don’t tell Netanyahu, who can tell the Little Korean to give me a call? Where is Baron? Someone find me Baron right away. General Kelly go fetch me Baron.
Baron, I know that you are a busy boy. You got all your video games and you got all those little women chasing you. You’ve probably groped more women at your age that than Eric has done in his whole life. But Baron, I need you to concentrate, did a man that sounds like a bad Chinese waiter call and leave a message for me this week? Did anyone call and ask for Mista Plesident?
Junior, do me a favor and definitely don’t tell anyone that I asked you to do this. This will be another secret between you and me. Contact your Russian friends, and ask to see why Rocket Man has not called me yet? What the hell is he waiting for, a nuclear war that he cannot win? Remind me, how is our relationship with China? Get someone at State to give our friendly Little Fat Man a call, and have him tell his pyromaniac buddy in North Korea to call me like he promised. What do you mean that there is nobody at State?
Melania, I know things have not been perfect these last 10 years. I should not have had all those affair, except for that one with Stormy Daniels. I mean look at those boobs. I bet even you are attracted to them. Anyway, I am……..I am………I am waiting for a call from The Little Dick-tator. You did not happen to take a call and forget to pass along the message. I’ll have the CIA go through yor phone records just to make sure you did not forget a thing.
Can you believe that this Little Fart has not called me yet? I feel like a teenage girl waiting for her rumored prom date to call to finalize the date. Rocket Man knows I need this bad!!! I just lost a special election in PA, that Stormy Daniels’ thing just won’t go away, people keep resigning, the NRA is up my ass and Mueller is all over me like a cheap suit. I was just getting a little down and then all of the sudden Rocket Man offers me the perfect national distraction. I think even the Democrats were on board with these bilateral talks and then the Little Shit disrespects me, embarrasses me and does not call. Did that Little Fart play for the fool? Did that Little Shit have me jump up and down all over the media just to make me look foolish? Well. we will see who gets the last laugh.
H O W A R D S B E N D 